All Just an Act
by Ace Law Larsen
Summary: What if the world of Fullmetal Alchemist was all just created on a TV set? Inspired by a VERY famous piece of fan art. Rated T for language. Implied EdWin...I guess...?
1. Prologue Episode 50: Death

**Disclaimer: If I owned FMA, then this disclaimer wouldn't be here.**

Edward was on top of Envy, about to stab him. "SHOW ME WHO YOU REALLY ARE!" he screamed.

"Alright," replied the homunculus calmly, before changing into a tall young man, about 19, with long, curly, blonde hair. Edward froze in shock and lowered his automail arm from Envy's throat.

"You're-" he stammered, "You're _his_ son-"

"What? You said you wanted to see," said Envy in a low voice before stabbing Edward through the gut. Edward collapsed into a pool of his own blood, dead.

Rose's eyes widened. "Edward...? EDWARD!"

"BROTHER!" Alphonse screamed at the top of his nonexistent lungs.

The presumably dead Edward let out a guffaw and sat up.

"CUT!"


	2. Chapter 1: Another Failed Session

**Disclaimer: Dear Hiromu Arakawa and/or Seiji Muzushima, why can't I own FMA?**

**Author's Note: If you can't tell, this story is inspired by the piece of fan art, that I'm sure you've all seen, ****that depicts many characters from FMA on a set for what seems to be a TV Show, presumably Fullmetal Alchemist. I used to have a failed link right here, but they added story covers, so look at that for the picture.**

"KATTO!" yelled a voice with a thick Japanese accent from off-set. "Edoado! You can't raff when Arufonsu cawrs out your name!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." chuckled the short actor, standing up. "It's not my fault he sounds hilarious screaming it! I mean come on, gimme a break!"

The suit of armor stood up and Envy changed back into, well, Envy. Alphonse took off the helmet, revealing a young boy with a bandana on, and smiled. Envy looked confused and scratched his head. _How- How did we do all those shots where it showed the empty suit of armor, then?_ He thought.

Edward took off his shirt and vest, which were now caked with fake blood, revealing a sleeveless black t-shirt. He slung a towel over his shoulders and headed for the break room, just outside the set. "Hey, Winry, let's go back to the hotel, I'm tired from a day of shooting. Hey, Mr. Muzushima, is it alright if I leave?"

"Go ahedd," said the man from earlier, Seiji Muzushima, with a sigh, "Anozer faired firmingu sesshon…" he whispered to himself

"Brother!" yelled Alphonse, "Wait up!" Edward sprinted towards the door, past Mustang and Hawkeye, who were sitting in canvas chairs.

"See ya!" Ed called to them. Roy just waved his hand dismissively, and Riza smiled.

Ed, Winry, and Al barely got out the door before they we hounded by the paparazzi.

"Shit!" Winry cursed under her breath in a very out of character manner. "TAXIIIIII!"

A taxi drove up and the three of them got in. "Where to?" asked the cab driver.

"The Western Shinjuku Astina Hotel, please," said Alphonse, politely.

The cab driver looked shocked. "A set of fancy armor _and_ the biggest hotel in Tokyo? What are you guys, rich or something?" he asked.

"No," Edward replied, "We're actors."

"For what?" the cab driver asked, derping heavily.

"...You can't tell? Fullmetal Alchemist."


	3. Chapter 2: To the Hotel!

**Disclaimer: You actually don't have to put these things here. I'm just putting it here because that's what everybody else does. Me no own Furrmetar Arkemisuto.**

**Author's Note: I revised the previous two chapters last night before bed, and when I awoke this morning there were two new reviews. This has given me the inspiration to write this some more.**

****The taxi driver who somehow spoke perfect English sped along the streets, swerving to avoid other cars and running red lights. The group nearly got into an accident about forty-two times.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Edward shouted at the driver as he grew increasingly green.

"Driving? Duh?"

"Well can't you do it a little, I don't know, SAFER?" Winry chimed in.

Alphonse laughed nervously. "Yeah, maybe you could slow it down? Just a tiny bit?"

"Hey, this is my cab, I drive by my rules, okay?"

"Of course! Except IT'S YOUR RULES THAT ARE GOING TO GET US KILLED, YOU BASTARD," Ed roared.

"Okay, okay, goddamn..." The drier slowed to only twelve miles faster that the speed limit, and only ran about half of the red lights. "Is that better?"

"I guess..." Ed murmured in an annoyed tone.

-0-0-0-

A few minutes later, the taxi pulled up in front of the Western Shinjuku Astina Hotel and the three young thespians stepped out.

"Hey, wait! What about my payment?" the driver called at them.

"Put it on my tab!" Ed called back.

"Oh, okay...Wait, what tab?" the driver yelled. However, the group was inside the hotel and were unable to hear them man.

The group walked towards the elevator and Winry pressed the up button.

"Brother? Are you sure it's okay to do what we just did to that poor driver?" Al asked sincerely.

"Nah, he'll be fine...Probably," Ed said with a shrug as the stepped in the elevator. The elevator went up, mostly in silence. The group exited the elevator and went to their room.

"Brother? Why do we all share a room?" Alphonse asked.

"'Cause Muzushima's a cheap bastard," Ed replied as he flopped down on his bed.

"Ed, you really like the word 'bastard', don't you?" Winry asked with a chuckle.

"Well my character says it so much that I've taken up the habit."

"I see..."

Al slipped out of his armor and plopped on the couch to watch TV.

-0-0-0-

Somewhere else, Muzushima, who'd given up on using an accent because it was tedious to type, was having a business discussion with Edward's agent. "So, y'know, I've been thinking about adding in a romantic scene with Ed and Rose, whaddaya say?" the agent, named Victor Minyan, asked.

"I think you may have a good idea, but Winry's actress won't like that."

"Who cares? Here, I'll call Ed and see what he thinks about it."

-0-0-0-

Back at the hotel, Edward's cell phone rang. He picked it up and answered with a bored sounding "Hello?"

**Author's Note:** **cwutididthar? Victor Minyan? Vic Mignogna? I AM SO CLEVER.**


End file.
